www.minditjoke.com: October 2011

What does a girls profile pic tells u ;)

What does a girls profile pic tells u ;)

1. If she is very beautiful with 1000's of friends, its fake.

2. There is a guy in the pic along with her, she is already booked.
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3. There are more than one girl in the pic, she is most probably the ugliest one.

4. The pic is taken from a side angle of her face, she is most probably fat.

5. The pic is taken from far away, definitely not a fake profile, just try to zoom in with your eye lenses to figure out more of her.

6. The pic is of a baby, cake, heart or any other stupid thing, most probably a teen who needs to grow up.

7. A pic with a ugly face, Click the back button as soon as you can before anyone catches you red handed :)

8. A pic with a beautiful face and all profile info hidden, she is probably the one for you :P but don't be so excited, she wont accept your friend request

wife- mai khubsurat hoti ja rahi hoon

Wife – kitchen se aji sunte ho
aajkal mai khubsurat hoti ja rahi hue .
Husband – : tumne kaise jana
Wife :- aaj kal meri khubsurti dekhkar rotiyan bhi jalne lagi hai …..

increase salary due to 3 reasons

Nokrani asked malikin to increase salary due to 3 reasons?

Nokrani. Pehli waja may aap sai acha khana banati hoon.
Malkan. Kon kehta hai
Nokrani. Sahib kehta hai

Malikan. Doosri waja?
Nokarni. Mai aap sai zaida ghar ka khayal karti hoon
Malikan. Yeh kon Kehta hai
Nokrani. Sahib kehta hai

Malikan. Akhri waja bako?
Nokrani. Mai aap sai zaiada enjoyable hoon.
Malikan. Kaya yeh b us kanjar nai kaha hai?
Nokrani. Nahi, yeh aap k driver nai bataya hai.

RAKHI SAWANT AND bolne wala TOTA

RAKHI
SAWANT AND bolne wala TOTA at
pet shop:
RAKHI: Mai kesi lagti hun
Tota- Kameeni lgti ho..
Rakhi-Tota battamez hai
Shopkepr pani laya ur totay ko
Pani mai dubaya aur pocha
Gali de ga?
Tota-Nhi
rakhi-Agr mere ghar Ek admiay to
tum kya socho ge?
Tota-Tmara husbnd hoga
rakhi-Agr 2 admi ay to?
Tota-Husbn d aur Devar
rakhi-Agr 3 admi ay to?
Tota-Husbnd, Devar aur Bhai
rakhi -Agr 4 admi ay to?
Tota-“jao bhai Lay aao PANI
maine toh pehle hi bola tha saali
Kameeni hai” ;-) :

civilized fight between husband & wife...

A
civilized
fight between husband & wife...
WIFE:
Twinkle
Twinkle little star U
should know what U are
And once
U know what U are Then
the
Mental hospital is'nt so far
HUSBAND:
The rain makes all
things
beautiful The grass &
flowers too
If rain makes all things
beautiful,
Why doesn't it rain on U?
WIFE:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Monkeys like U
should be kept in zoo
HUSBAND:
Don't feel so angry
U will find me there too
Not in cage
but
laughing at U..:D

5 things Indian movies taught us

5 things Indian movies
taught us:
1 Atleast one of the identical twins
is born evil!
2 While defusing a bomb,
don't worry which wire to cut,
You will always choose the right
one!
3 A hero will show no pain while
getting beaten up,
but will show pain wen a woman
is trying to clean his wound!
4 A detective can solve a case only
wen he's suspended from duty!
5 (best of all) If you decide to start
dancing on the street,
everyone you meet will know the
steps!

cadbury advertisement in rel life :P

!! Cadbury
Advertisement=D !!
Boy :excuse
me,kya aap mujhe apni dairy milk
mein se chota sa bite de sakti
hain?
Giri-kya mein aapko jaanti hu?
Boy-nahi
Girl- to phir...
Boy-par meri maa kehti hai koi
bhi shubh kaam karne se pehle
mooh meetha kar lena chahiye.
Girl gives him a piece of dairy milk
to him.....
Girl-waise kya shubh kaam karne
ja rahe ho?
Boy-main soch raha tha ki aapko
ghar chorr du..
Girl smiles and says:"pehle to
pakar 100rs aur apne baal katwa
ke aa =X
bus stop pe khara hai ur
mujhe ghar chorne ki baat kar
raha hai..
pehle koi bike to leke
aa..mooche aayi nahi hain aur
chal hai mujhe patane.....
ek piece kya de diya sir pe hi aake
baith
gaya...
aisa kar tu mujhe apni maa
se hi milwade ..
unhe bataungi
kitne shubh kaam karta hai aapka
beta....
wo hi achchi tara se mooh
meetha karengi
tera !!!!!!"=D
Uff ye aajkal Ki Ladkiyaan ~ teekhi
mirchi hain teekhi mirchi ;)

difference in love of boy and girl

When a girl loves a boy,
No one knows except the girl.
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,

... ,

,

,

,

and when a boy loves a girl.
Everyone knows except the girl :-) :-P

12 Boys planned to propose to a girl

12 Boys planned to propose to a girl

10 came with a rose..
But 1 came with a ring – That's confidence

But what about the other 1?
Wo sala baraat lekar aaya – OVER CONFIDENCE!

Girls can never be equal to boys.

Girls can never be equal to boys....!!
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... Becoz it takes courage to wear same clothes for a week n still think....
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.
Kapde to theek thak hain abhi....

2 din aur chalenge!
:P :P

If you wanna breakup with your boring lover

If you
wanna breakup with your boring
lover what you'll tell him/her...??
1. Tere saath meri zindagi ki watt
lag gayi......bhaag ja hurrrrrr =P
2. wo meine bas time pass kr
raha/rahi thi...wo kya hai na ki
papa ne 1 sal se cable connection
katwa diya tha... Now we got tata
sky =D
3. I cant continue Meri shaadi
bachpan mein ho chuki hai =p
LOL
4. Meine ne socha tu rich hoga/
hogi
5. Dekho janu hamara relationship
pichle 1 saal se tha ab mujhe or
bhi aacha offer aaya hai
6. Ur opinion _________________ ?
( Fill It )

Someone Locks U In A Room For A Day , How Would You Spend?

So People, If Someone Locks U In A Room For A Day , How Would You Spend?
“I’ll Go For All Other Than 3rd” =)
1. Using Facebook
2. Sleeping
3. Study
4. Watching T.V.
5. Chatting Or Talking With Someone Special
6. With Music Of Full Volume?

Every Sachin Fan Must Read and Share This

Every Sachin Fan Must Read and Share This

India vs Australia [2004] match...

Brad Hogg takes Sachin's wicket
...
At the end of the match Hogg gave that ball to Sachin for his autograph.

Sachin put his sign with one beautiful sentence,
"IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN"

Till today Hogg could not take his wicket for the second
time. After this incident Hogg and Tendulkar have come
face to face 21 times... but he could never get Master Blaster out!

"THIS IS CONFIDENCE"

"THIS IS TENDULKAR"
MIND it

Highly disappointing situations-

Highly disappointing situations-

1. YOUr Best friend weds your lover :'(

2. A close friend avoiding without reason ;(

3. 10 mark question asked for 2mark :(

4. Principal sitting near u on tour :(

5. eXtremly good looking guy/gal crossing you when you are with your mom/dad :(

6. Teachers distributing your test papers in front of your juniors :/

7. Friend calling on birthday and not wishing :@

8. Dear 1 suddenly stopped messaging :O

9. Leaving this post without liking it too :P :D

Very Painfull Line by a Girl after breakup,

Very Painful Line by a Girl after
breakup,
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...
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.

Now who will bear My Expenses?? :'((

Ab mera kharcha kon uthaye ga? :
'((

One spelling mistake can destroy a marriage.

One spelling mistake can destroy a marriage.
A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'E' at the end of the last word.

Hey Darling- I m experiencing the best time of my life...wish u were HER.. ;):)=))

.Ladkiyo ki 5 baatain kabhi samjh nahi Aati

..........Ladkiyo ki 5 baatain kabhi samjh nahi Aati......
(1) Tum na bohat woh ho (pata nahi woh se kya
matlab hai? banda soch main per jaata hai.
(2) Mujhe tum se ye umeed nahi thi.(to phir kya
...umeed thi)
(3) Tum pehle jaise nahi rahe.(to phr main pehle
kesa tha ?
(4) Sach batana,mai n kaisi lag rahi hun.(such kya
boloon pitna thori hay)
(5) I am very selfish na. (ab haan bol doon to gayi
bhens pani mein....

Santa Kaun Banega Crorepati Mein

Santa Kaun
Banega Crorepati Mein:
Q: What is you father name ?
Santa: Plz Options ?
A. Parambir
B. Satbir
C. Partap
D. Santokh
Santa: Life line 50/50
A. Parambir
D. Santokh
Santa: Audience Vote.
75% Parambir
25% Santokh
Santa: I want to use My last life
line “Phone a friend.”
Kisko call karengy?
Santa: Apne baap Parambir
ko ! :D :p..:P

difference of time to make choice for boys and girls

A girl takes 3 month to judge a
boy on whether she likes him or
not..
But a boy takes 3 sec ..
1st sec : yaar !! dekh kya item
hai...:P
2nd sec : Aye!!! Haye kitni soni
aawaz hai....:P
3rd sec : kasam se yar !!! Is se b
pyar ho gaya :( :P

Type of smells in bedroom after marriage

Type of smells in bedroom after marriage

1st 3 Months: Perfume & Flowers

After 3 Years: Baby Powder, Cream & Lotion

After 30 Years: Vicks & Iodex

Husbands !! Husbands !! Husbands !!

Husbands !!
Husbands !!
Husbands !!
If U advise them, they think U r dominating;
If U don't, U r not doing anything!
... If U agree to all their likes, U r sweet;
If U don't, U r not understanding!
If they call U, they r missing U;
If U call, U r disturbing them!
If they ask U anything, its their right;
If U ask, U r interfering!
If they care, they luv U;
If U care, U are very possessive!
So hard to live with them.
Hats off to all the great "WIVES"!!!!!!!!!!!

everyday read patni chalisa.
namo namo patni maharani
tumhari mahima koi na jani        <<1>>

hamne samjha tum abla ho
par tum to sabse badi bala ho      <<2>>

jis din haath me belan awe
us din pati bahot chillawe            <<3>>

sare bed pe patni sove
pati baitha fars pe rove
tum hi se ghar mathura kasi
aur tumse hi ghar satyanashi       <<4>>

patni chalisa jo nar gave
sab sukh chhod param dukh pave <<5>>

Boys Chalisa

Boys Chalisa-
U To Hum H Bhrahmchari,
Par Jaha Dikhi Hasin Nari
Wahi Niyat Ne Palti Mari,
Patane Ki Koshish Jari
Patti To Hamari
Warna Hum To Hai Hi Brahmchari.;-)

old is gold

old is gold
A Ques Asked In A Talent Test:
If u r Married To 1 of The Twin
Sisters, How would U Recognize
Ur WIFE?
The Best Answer
.
.
.
- Why Should I recognize? :-P

What is one word for

What is one word for
"kiye karaye pe pani pherna"??????
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Flush.... :p :))))

art gallery

In an art gallery,a couple saw picture of a girl covered only by leaves.

Husband keeps watching..
Wife:Ghar abi chaloge ya hawa aane tk intezar kroge..
;-)

illiterate father with his educated son

An illiterate father with his educated son went on a camping trip..

They setup their tent & fell asleep.

Some hours later,
Father wakes his son & asks: Look up to the sky & tell me what u see,?

Son: I see millions of stars.

Father: And what does that tel u.?

Son: Astronomically,it tells there are millions of galaxies & planets.

Father slaps the son hard & says: Idiot 'someOne has stolen our tent' =D

Moral : Education ruins our commonsense. :') =p

Ultimate attitude Ultimate Answer:

;)
Ultimate attitude
Ultimate Answer:

Teacher:
"Why are you Late??"
....
.
.
.
.
.
Student:
Does it Really matter ?? !!
U still get Paid...!
:);)

fish ki kismat

1-admi ne Fish pakri
jab ghar aaya to dekha
Na gas
Na ata
Na bijli
Na oil
admi wapis Fish ko darya me phenk aaya
Fish upar aai or zor se chilai

jiyo manmohan sarkar jiyo

bhavishya

Girl to Swami-Mujhe 'Bhavishya' dekhna sikhao?
Swami-Aankhe band kro aur gaal aage karo
Girl-Nhi,aap mujhe kiss kr loge
Swami-Dekha, Dikhne laga na 'bhavishya'

Examples Of Stupid Questions People Ask.

Examples Of Stupid Questions People Ask.

1. When People C U Lying Down, Wid Ur Eyes Closd Dy Still Ask: R U Sleepin?
No! Em Trying 2 Die?

... 2. When It's Rainin & Some1 Notices U Goin Out, Dy Ask: R U Going Out In Dis Rain?
No,In The Next 1.

3. Ur Friend Calls Ur Home Fone: Where R U?
At De Bus Stop!

4. Dey See U Wet Comin 4m De Bathroom: Did U Just Hav A Bath?
No, I Fell In De Toilet Bowl !

5. U R Standin Rite In Front Of De Elevator On The Ground Floor & Dey Ask: Goin Up?
No, No, Em Waitin 4 My Apartmnt 2 Come Down & Get Me.

6. U Bring A Bunch Of Flowers 4 Ur Sweet Heart & Dey Ask: R Dose Flowers?
No Baby! Dey R Carrots.

7. U'r On The Queue 2 Buy Tickets @ De Cinema, A Friend Saw U & Ask: Wat R U Doin Here?
Em Here 2 Pay My School Fee...!! :P :P

very fast...

A Japanese came to India. He took a
AUTO to go to the airport.
On d way a HONDA overtakes,
Japanese: HONDA made in JAPAN very fast.....
Next a TOYOTA overtakes, he said TOYOTA made
in JAPAN, very fast.
Airport came he asked how much?
Driver: 8000Rs
Japanese: y so expensive?
Driver: METER made in INDIA very fast...

GET 10 TIMES OF IT.

@@ joke of the day @@
A woman during playing golf hit
the ball in the woods she went
looking for it adn found a frog in a
trap.
frog:if u release me,i'll grant u 3
wishes she releases.
Frog:but there's a condition, UR
HUSBAND WILL GET 10 TIMES OF IT.
girl:i want 2 be most beautiful
women
frog:this will make your husband
most handsome man
girl:it's ok,as i will be the most
beautiful woman.
2nd wish-i want 2 be richest
frog:that will make ur husband
richest in the world
girl:it's ok,coz whats mine is his and
whats his is mine
3rd wish-i want minor heart
attack
MORAL: women r clever, don't
mess with them.
ATTENTION:
Female Reader: end of joke is
good 4 u,stop here don't read
further and continue feeling
good..
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Male Reader:see down
MAN had a heart attack 10 times
minor than his Wife :D

MODERN BEIZZATI

MODERN BEIZZATI...
Boy- i luv u
girl- apni shakal dekhi hai kya?
boy- dekhi hai tabhi to tere pas aaya warna KATRINA KAIF K pas na jata.

flight mein headphone

Santa Flight Mein Pilot Ke Headphones Chheen Ne Ki Koshish Kar Raha Tha.

Pilot Hairani Se: “Ye Kya Kar Rahe Hai, Sir?”

Santa: “M****** Ticket Hum Le, Aur Gaane Tum Suno, Chal Idhar De“

seat ke liye ladai

2 Ladkiya bus me seat ke liye lad rahi thi
Conductor :- Kyun lad rahi ho ?
Jo umar me badi ho wo baith jaaye
... ...
Bas phir kya tha ,
Dono poore raaste khadi hi rahi ..!!!=P

hamesha

GirL:Jab
bhi
main tumhen call kartihun
Tum Shave kar rahe hote ho.
Tum din mein kitni dafa Shave karte
ho?
Boy:30 se 40.
GirL:Kya tum Pagal ho?
Boy: nahi mai
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"NAAI" hon.
;) :D :p

boss ka sweat solution

Pappu sent
message to his BOSS:"Me sick, no
work"
Boss replied:"When I am sick I
kiss my wife try it"
2 hours later....
Pappu messages to boss:"Me ok,
your wife very sweet"!!

Interesting research about blood groups .

Interesting research about blood groups .

A (positive+) = Good leadership

A(Negative -) = HardworKing
... ...
B(positive+) = Can give Up for others

O(postive+ & O Negative-) = born 2 help

AB(positive + AB Negative -) = Very difficult 2 Understand.

Which is yours?
..............................

Most common dialogues. .. During exam...

Most common dialogues. ..
During exam...

1) saale kitna likhega... .

... 2) abbe zor se bolna
kuch sunai nahi de raha..

3) ma'am i was asking for eraser..

4) bata na fattu
koi nahi dekh raha hai...

5) yaar ye chapter ka karwaya tha...

6) yaar 1 din aur mill jata to padh leta...

7) what the hell...

8) paper kisne set kiya hai...

9) paper kaisa tha..

10th) bhagwan bus is baar...
Paas kar de..

Maa kasam next time ache se padhai karong.

kuch naya karo

A men praying in kumbh mela
hey prabhu , kuch naya karo
hey prabhu,kuch naya karo
hamesha bhai-bhai hi bichadtey hai kabhi pati-patni par bhi try karo . .

Rajnikant Appeared In Exams Of engg.

Once
Rajnikant Appeared In Exams Of
engg.
Guess What Happened ??
Failed !!
Beta Ye engg. h,
Rajni Ho Ya Gajni, Sbki H Bajni..

jumlay ko apne alfaaz mai likho

Urdu ki
teacher,
""Wo dekho Ek Khoubsorat Ladki
Khadi Hai..""
is jumlay ko apne alfaaz mai likho..
Student:"Abey wo dekh teri
bhabi"... :)

ke wo committed hai

Girl:
har boyfriend khubsurat larki ko dekh kar
bhul jata hai ke wo
committed hai =)
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.
.
Boy: Galat. Balkay us ko ussi wakt
yaad
ata hai ke wo bichara committed
hai :P:P

What do you think, I'm

Wife:
Can you help me in garden??

Husband: What do you think, I'm Gardener..??

Wife: Can you fix door handle??
Husband: What do you think, I'm a Carpenter..??

In the Evening when husband came from the work,
He saw everything has been fixed..!!

He asked: Who fixed this..??

Wife: "our Neighbour but he gave me 2 options..!!
Either I should give him burger or a kiss..!!

Husband: I'm sure you must have given a
burger..!!

Wife: What do You think, I'm Mc'Donald's..?? :P :D

Story of Newton's laws

Story of Newton's laws:
A Cow was walking. NEWTON stopped it. It
stopped.
He found his first law,
"An object continues to move unless it's
stopped".
He gave a FORCE by kicking the Cow, it gave a
Sound "MA"!
He formulated the 2nd law, F=MA!!
After sometime the Cow gave akick to Newton,
then he formulated the 3rd Law.
i.e, 'EVERY ACTION HAS AN EQUAL & OPPOSITE
REACTION'...........

search this site

GIRLS & MATHS r The Two Most Complicated Things In The World . But . . . MATHS, . . . . . . . Atleast, Has Logic..

Patient to Doctor :

Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hai,

uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya. . . . . ... . . Doctor: Jaanta hu, thappar ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi :P :p

Chief Minister 2 Secretary:

Jab se CM bana hu,Meri Maa ko Hichki bahut ati hai!

Secretary: Yes Sir,

State me Bijli jate hi Log Aap ki Maa ko hi Yaad karte hai.. ..............

Doctor: Tumary 3 daant kesy toot gaye? . Admi: Ji wo Wife ne kadak roti banai thi. . . Doctor. To khaane se inkar kar dete. . . . . Admi: Ji wahi to kiya tha :D :D

Wife – kitchen se aji sunte ho aajkal mai khubsurat hoti ja rahi hue . Husband – : tumne kaise jana Wife :- aaj kal meri khubsurti dekhkar rotiyan bhi jalne lagi hai …..

Can not help you , at the end you have the heart of mouse

A Guy sitting with his girlfriend, drinking beer says,"I love u". . . Girl says: "Is it u or the beer talking?" . . Boy replies,"its me, talking to my beer, u shut up" =P

2 ladkiyan ped k niche baithi Kafi der se bate kar rahi thi Achanak 1aam gira 1lady-ye aam kese gira Aam bola- PAK GAYA HU TUMHARI BAATE SUN-SUN KE..

One day God erased a husband's memory and asked Do you remember anything now? He takes his wife's name God smiled and says ; : : ::: : : : : : :Format karke bhi virus nahi nikla:P:P:P..:P:P

A tragic love story:

Larka Larki ke samne Bike se zoor se gira par Shirmindagi se foran uth kharaa hua . Larki: Oh God apko Lagi tou nai? LARKA muskurate Dard Chupate hue Mai aise hi Utarta hun :D hahahahahaha. . . . :D :D

Kid from washroom to his mother: Mama Kar leeeeeeeeeee Mama: Ullu ke pathey khud dhoo..:D . . . . . . . Kid: Jab dhula nai sakty to khilaty kyun hooooo :p

God: What do U want? Boy: A beautiful girl. God: If U are a Muslim I'll give U Katrina, if U are a Hindu I'll give U Kareena, if U are a Christian I'll give U Genelia, What's Your name? Boy: Abdul Vinod Fernandes. God: Isko Rakhi Sawant do.. Saala Jyaada hi oversmart ban raha hai :D :D :P :P

Wife to Doctor: My Husband has the Habit of Talking in his Sleep What Should I give to cure him? . .. . . . . . . Doctor: Give him an Opportunity to Speak when He is awake..

A thief was leaving the house after robbery, suddenly the girl woke up and said . . . ... . . . . . . . . . . Mera school bag bhi le ja kaminey warna mummy papa ko utha dungii...

Bhagwan Ram or Ravan bada Serious yudh kar rahe the. Tabhi Ravan ne Ram k piche kisi ko khade dekha. Ravan: Chal yaar Bye. Ram: Kya hua? Ravan: Nahi yar bus Bye. Ram: Arre hua kya, Ruk to sahi. Ravan: Bus rahne de Yar ...tu itni si bat par Rajnikant ko bula laya.

school dairy me - @@@@@@@@@ Teacher : kiske sign hai ye ? Student: Mom. Teacher: teri ma ka naam kya hai ??? Student: Jalebi Bai...

There is always a TRUTH behind "mazak kar raha tha" a little EMOTION behind "mujhe koi farak nai padta" a little PAIN behind "its ok" a little NEED behind "mujhe akela chhod do" a deep THOUGHT behind "pata nahi" a lot of WORDS behind "silence" so try to understand the FEELINGS and not d WORDS ...

Teacher-Where were you born? Santa :- India Teacher :- which part in India ? Santa :- What which part? Whole body born in India .

Girls to Boys:- 1970's : Love me, but don't touch me. 1980's : Touch me, but don't kiss me. 1990's : Kiss me, but don't do anything more. 2000's : Do anything, but don't tell anyone. Since 2011 : Do everything , otherwise I will tell everyone that you can't do anything. ;) ...........

1 Moti Aurat Ne Doosri Se Kaha: Tumhe Kabhi Apne Motaape Ka Ehsas Hua? 2nd: Haan Jab Dhobi Ne Mere Kapde Wapas Kiye Or Bola, Behen ji Ham “Tent” Nahi Dhotey

1970 ki MoM -Beta Apne Cast ki Ladki Se Hi Shadi Krna. 1980-Apne Dharam ki. 1990-Apne Desh ki. 2000-Apne Level ki. 2011-Haramkhor, shadi Ladki Se Hi kariyo.

The Full Form of Chocolate Brands: KITKAT: Kiss in Time, Kiss at Time. PERK: Perfect Emotional Romantic Kiss. MUNCH: Meet Urgently Now for a Charming Hug. DAIRY-MILK: Darling Always I Remember You; Meet Immediate for Long Kiss (so think before giving chocolates to any one) :

Boy: eXcuse me sister that's my seat Girl: OK but i m not your sister. My father never touched your mom boy: True, but my father did.

... Moral: - Don't be over smart xD

Leave application by a cute child:- O Master ji, Wen I cum, Rain Chham Chham. Leg My fisla I gira dham. Isliye 2day, I not cum.....

Teacher: To keep your character good, think every Girl as your Sister. ... Smart Boy: But thinking every Girl as my Sister will make my Father's character bad. :p

A man was killing bees."how many bees have u killed today?asks his wife. his reply"5:three males and two female flies." "how did u guess the gender?she asks him. "three were sitting on beer bottles and two on the telephone xD

Baby Student: Teacher Aap Muje Bahut Acchi Lagti Ho, Aapse Shadi Karunga. Teachar Gusse Se: Muhe Baccho Se Chid hay Baby Student : MiS me Kosish Karunga Ke Bacche na ho..:pp

Guy proposed a Girl: I fell in luv with u the minute I saw u., Will u marry me...??? Girl: mala angreji nahi yet (mujhe angreji nahi ati hai) Guy: kai nahi tai(kuch nahi bahan), pani mangat hota( pani mang raha tha ) :D:D

When a girl loves a boy, No one knows except the girl. . , ... , , , , and when a boy loves a girl. Everyone knows except the girl :-) :-P

Kid:can I go to toilet? Teacher: (correcting) may I go to the toilet ? Kid: chup chap baithi reh jyada chalak na ban, pehle main jaunga... ;-)

12 Boys planned to propose to a girl 10 came with a rose.. But 1 came with a ring – That's confidence But what about the other 1? Wo sala baraat lekar aaya – OVER CONFIDENCE!

Father to Son : Sharab, Cigaratte aur Ladkiya ye sab Tumhari Jaan ke Dushman hain... inse door raho . . . Son : Jo Mard apne Dushmano se Darr ke bhag jaye woh Mard nahi hota Papa... ;)

Girls can never be equal to boys....!! . . . ... Becoz it takes courage to wear same clothes for a week n still think.... . . . . Kapde to theek thak hain abhi.... 2 din aur chalenge! :P :P

Teacher to student :- Lecture kaisa hona chahiye? Student :- Mini skirt jaisa, taaki jaruri topic cover bhi ho jaye aur sabka interest bhi bana rahe. . :D :D :p :p

Laloo to his P.A.: Itne khiladi kyun football ko laat maar rahe hai? P.A.: Goal karne ke liye. Laloo: Susra, ball toh pahle se hi gol hai aur kitna gol karenge!!!...:P:P:P

So People, If Someone Locks U In A Room For A Day , How Would You Spend? “I’ll Go For All Other Than 3rd” =) 1. Using Facebook 2. Sleeping 3. Study 4. Watching T.V. 5. Chatting Or Talking With Someone Special 6. With Music Of Full Volume?

Insan Ko Bimar Kar Denewali Chijon me se 1 chij, . Dosto ki Judai hai'' . So please "Like"or "Comment" kar deya karo.. (",) <((> _/¡_ Kal bhi bukhar ho gaya tha :'( :-P

1 Garib ne TAJMAHAL ki har diwar ko dekha har minar ko dekha har kaalin ko dekha har khidki ko dekha or bola "Maa kasam sachi mohabat me kharcha bahut hai" :D..:P:P

Father: kya hua beta kyun ro rahe ho mujhe batao

mai tumhara dost jaisa hu..

Son: kya batau yaar. Apni vali se milne gya tha,

teri wali ne bahut mara .;-(

GIRLS & MATHS r The Two Most Complicated Things In The World
.
But . .
.
MATHS,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Atleast, Has Logic..

uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
.
.
.
.
... .
.
Doctor: Jaanta hu, thappar ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi :P :p

State me Bijli jate hi Log Aap ki Maa ko hi Yaad karte hai..
..............

Doctor:
Tumary 3 daant kesy toot gaye?
.
Admi:
Ji wo Wife ne kadak roti banai thi.
.
.
Doctor.
To khaane se inkar kar dete.
.
.
.
.
Admi:
Ji wahi to kiya tha :D :D

Wife – kitchen se aji sunte ho
aajkal mai khubsurat hoti ja rahi hue .
Husband – : tumne kaise jana
Wife :- aaj kal meri khubsurti dekhkar rotiyan bhi jalne lagi hai …..

A Guy sitting with his girlfriend,
drinking beer says,"I love u".
.
.
Girl says: "Is it u or the beer talking?"
.
.
Boy replies,"its me, talking to my beer, u shut up" =P

2 ladkiyan ped k niche baithi Kafi der se bate kar rahi thi

Achanak 1aam gira
1lady-ye aam kese gira

Aam bola-

PAK GAYA HU TUMHARI BAATE SUN-SUN KE..

One day God
erased a husband's memory and
asked
Do you remember anything now?
He takes his wife's name
God smiled and says
;
:
:
:::
:
:
:
:
:
:Format karke bhi virus nahi
nikla:P:P:P..:P:P

Larka Larki ke samne
Bike se zoor se gira par
Shirmindagi se foran uth kharaa
hua
.
Larki:
Oh God apko Lagi tou nai?

LARKA muskurate Dard Chupate
hue Mai aise hi Utarta hun :D
hahahahahaha. . . . :D :D

Kid from washroom to his mother:

Mama Kar leeeeeeeeeee

Mama: Ullu ke pathey khud dhoo..:D
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kid: Jab dhula nai sakty to khilaty kyun hooooo :p

God: What do U want? Boy: A beautiful girl.
God: If U are a Muslim I'll give U Katrina,
if U are a Hindu I'll give U Kareena,
if U are a Christian I'll give U Genelia,
What's Your name?
Boy: Abdul Vinod Fernandes.
God: Isko Rakhi Sawant do..
Saala Jyaada hi oversmart ban raha hai :D :D :P :P

Wife to
Doctor: My Husband has the Habit
of Talking in his Sleep
What Should I give to cure him?
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Doctor: Give him an Opportunity
to Speak when He is awake..

A thief was leaving the house after robbery,
suddenly the girl woke up and said
.
.
.
... .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Mera school bag bhi le ja kaminey warna
mummy papa ko utha dungii...

Bhagwan Ram or Ravan bada Serious yudh kar rahe the.

Tabhi Ravan ne Ram k piche kisi ko khade dekha.

Ravan: Chal yaar Bye.
Ram: Kya hua?

Ravan: Nahi yar bus Bye.
Ram: Arre hua kya, Ruk to sahi.

Ravan: Bus rahne de Yar ...tu itni si bat par Rajnikant ko bula laya.

school dairy me - @@@@@@@@@
Teacher : kiske sign hai ye ?
Student: Mom.
Teacher: teri ma ka naam kya hai ???
Student: Jalebi Bai...

There is always a TRUTH behind "mazak kar raha tha"
a little EMOTION behind "mujhe koi farak nai padta"
a little PAIN behind "its ok"
a little NEED behind "mujhe akela chhod do"
a deep THOUGHT behind "pata nahi"
a lot of WORDS behind "silence"
so try to understand the FEELINGS and not d WORDS ...

Teacher-Where were you born?
Santa :- India

Teacher :- which part in India ?

Santa :- What which part?

Whole body born in India .

Girls to Boys:-
1970's : Love me, but don't touch me.
1980's : Touch me, but don't kiss me.
1990's : Kiss me, but don't do anything more.
2000's : Do anything, but don't tell anyone.
Since
2011 : Do everything , otherwise I will tell everyone that you can't do anything.

;) ...........

1 Moti Aurat Ne Doosri Se Kaha: Tumhe Kabhi Apne Motaape Ka
Ehsas Hua? 2nd:
Haan
Jab Dhobi Ne Mere Kapde Wapas
Kiye Or Bola,
Behen ji Ham “Tent” Nahi Dhotey

1970 ki MoM -Beta Apne Cast ki Ladki Se Hi Shadi Krna.
1980-Apne Dharam ki.
1990-Apne Desh ki.
2000-Apne Level ki.
2011-Haramkhor, shadi Ladki Se Hi kariyo.

The Full Form of Chocolate Brands:

KITKAT:
Kiss in Time, Kiss at Time.

PERK:
Perfect Emotional Romantic Kiss.

MUNCH:
Meet Urgently Now for a Charming Hug.

DAIRY-MILK:
Darling Always I Remember You;
Meet Immediate for Long Kiss
(so think before giving chocolates to any one) :

Boy: eXcuse me sister
that's my seat
Girl: OK but i m not your sister.
My father never touched your mom
boy: True, but my father did.

Leave application by a cute child:-

O Master ji,
Wen I cum,
Rain Chham Chham.
Leg My fisla I gira dham.
Isliye 2day,
I not cum.....

Teacher:
To keep your character
good, think every Girl as
your Sister.
... Smart Boy: But thinking every
Girl as my Sister will make my
Father's character bad. :p

A man was
killing bees."how many bees have
u killed today?asks his wife.
his reply"5:three males and two
female flies."
"how did u guess the gender?she
asks him.
"three were sitting on beer
bottles and two on the telephone
xD

Baby Student: Teacher Aap
Muje Bahut Acchi Lagti Ho, Aapse
Shadi Karunga.
Teachar Gusse Se: Muhe Baccho Se
Chid hay
Baby Student : MiS me Kosish
Karunga Ke Bacche na ho..:pp

Guy proposed a Girl:
I fell in luv with u the minute I saw u.,
Will u marry me...???

Girl:
mala angreji nahi yet (mujhe angreji nahi ati hai)

Guy:
kai nahi tai(kuch nahi bahan),
pani mangat hota( pani mang raha tha ) :D:D

When a girl loves a boy,
No one knows except the girl.
.
,

... ,

,

,

,

and when a boy loves a girl.
Everyone knows except the girl :-) :-P

Kid:can I go to toilet?
Teacher: (correcting)
may I go to the toilet ?
Kid: chup chap baithi reh jyada
chalak na ban,
pehle main jaunga... ;-)

12 Boys planned to propose to a girl

10 came with a rose..
But 1 came with a ring – That's confidence

But what about the other 1?
Wo sala baraat lekar aaya – OVER CONFIDENCE!

Father to Son : Sharab, Cigaratte aur Ladkiya ye sab Tumhari Jaan ke Dushman hain... inse door raho
.
.
.

Son : Jo Mard apne Dushmano se Darr ke bhag jaye woh Mard nahi hota Papa... ;)

Girls can never be equal to boys....!!
.
.
.
... Becoz it takes courage to wear same clothes for a week n still think....
.
.
.
.
Kapde to theek thak hain abhi....

2 din aur chalenge!
:P :P

Teacher to student :- Lecture kaisa hona chahiye?
Student :- Mini skirt jaisa, taaki jaruri topic cover bhi ho jaye aur sabka interest bhi bana rahe. . :D :D :p :p

Laloo to his
P.A.: Itne khiladi kyun football ko
laat maar rahe hai?
P.A.: Goal karne ke liye.
Laloo: Susra, ball toh pahle se hi
gol hai aur kitna gol
karenge!!!...:P:P:P

So People, If Someone Locks U In A Room For A Day , How Would You Spend?
“I’ll Go For All Other Than 3rd” =)
1. Using Facebook
2. Sleeping
3. Study
4. Watching T.V.
5. Chatting Or Talking With Someone Special
6. With Music Of Full Volume?

Insan Ko
Bimar Kar Denewali Chijon me se 1
chij,
.
Dosto ki Judai hai''
.
So please "Like"or "Comment" kar deya
karo..
(",)
<((>
_/¡_ Kal bhi bukhar ho gaya tha :'( :-P

1 Garib ne
TAJMAHAL ki
har diwar ko dekha
har minar ko dekha
har kaalin ko dekha
har khidki ko dekha
or bola "Maa kasam sachi
mohabat me kharcha
bahut hai" :D..:P:P